Obama Administration Ending Color Coding Without Knowing What Comes Next

Everyone, including me, has made fun of the color-coded terror threat warning system at some point or another.  Now that the Department Of Homeland Security is ending it, however, it turns out it’s pretty hard to replace without tipping your hand to the terrorists and totally panicking people at a mall or public event some douchebag with questionable connections overseas happened to mention on Twitter.

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Philadelphia Filled With Stupid “Green” Traffic Lights No One Can See

The idiot environuts have struck again.  Philadelphia has converted their traffic signals to LEDs, and these lights, which shall forever now be referred to as “dummy bulbs,” burn so coolly that they do not melt the falling snow. As a result, they get covered in snow and no one knows whether to stop or go (Here’s a hint, when in Filthadelphia, always GO!).

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Hawaii Governor To Friend: There Is No Obama Birth Certificate

I’ve been following the Obama Birth Certificate journey of Hawaii’s buffoonish Corzine doppelgänger Governor Neil Abercrombie with some amusement.  For those unaware, Abercrombie rode into office claiming to have been around Obama’s parents at the time of his birth and swearing that he was going to put an end to all this “birtherism” once and for all by producing Barack Obama’s original Hawaiian birth certificate, something the President has been unable or unwilling to do.

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