Now that all Pennsylvania students meet all the minimum educational requirements, the state can move onto other less pressing matters. Pennsylvania is set to approve new rules for school parties that would limit food selection to one “sweet treat” and ban classes holding more than one birthday party per month.
With All Other Problems Solved, Clymer Wages War On Beverage
Now that all of Pennsylvania’s other problems are behind us and every willing state resident has found full-time employment, the eye of state government can be turned to other matters like deciding which beverages are and are not OK for adults to drink.
MSNBC Suspends Keith Olbermann Indefinitely Without Pay
MSNBC has suspended liberal mouth bomber Keith Olbermann indefinitely without pay after it came to light that Olbermann made the maximum allowed political contribution to three Democrat candidates in violation of NBC’s ethics policy.
Surprise: CT Democrats Find A Sack Of Votes
Democrats in the Connecticut Governor’s election, the race called and then uncalled by the AP for the Democrat on Election Night, have strangely found a mysterious bag of uncounted ballots.
Compromise: Reid Says Permanent Tax Cuts “Won’t Happen”
Well, that whole Democrats building bridges and listening to the voice of the people thing lasted all of about 14 hours.
ESPN Anchor Delivers Ben Roethliscock Highlights
ESPN anchor Chris McKendry delivers a highlight reel featuring Pittsburgh Steelers Quarterback and unindicted accused public bathroom rapist Ben Roethlisberger, and gives it an interesting twist.
Republicans Take House of Representatives In Historic Sweep
Candidates from the Republican Party have gained well in excess of the 39 seats necessary for them to enter the 112th Congress with control of the House of Representatives.
Pat Toomey Defeats Joe Sestak In Pennsylvania US Senate Race
Republican Pat Toomey has defeated Democratic Socialist candidate Joe Sestak, winning the race to replace Arlen Specter as a US Senator from Pennsylvania.
Mike Fitzpatrick Ousts Patrick Murphy In PA-08 Congressional Race
Do a dance. Pop the Champagne. Holler out the window. Moon a liberal. Republican Mike Fitzpatrick is headed back to Capitol Hill after defeating Nancy Pelosi’s favorite go-to Socialist Patrick Murphy in Pennsylvania’s 8th Congressional District.
Tom Corbett Defeats Dan Onorato In PA Governor Race
Republican Tom Corbett has defeated far-left Democrat candidate Dan Onorato in the race to become Pennsylvania’s next governor.
