The PHILthy City: Philadelphia To Focus On Outreach, Counseling To Thwart Flash Mobs

The geniuses in charge of law enforcement in Philadelphia have decided to focus on community outreach and counseling to thwart the city’s epidemic of teen flash mobs.

When they’re not descending on stores to loot en masse, mobs of apparently nondescript “teens” with no identifying common thread other than their age have been beating the shit out of innocent bystanders who mistakenly decide to venture into the city.  This has been going on for the better part of a year.

The city is also going to register security cameras, because catching the “teens” after they’re allowed to beat the shit out of the rest of us is very important.

Oh yeah, enforcement “options” too.  That’s ironic phrasing because, judging from their performance over the past year, enforcement of the law is optional in Philadelphia.

Mayor Michael Nutter says the plan will be unveiled next week and take into account enforcement options, neighborhood outreach, counseling, prosecution and other tools. On Monday, city police also announced an online program that will allow residents and businesses to register security cameras with the city to help apprehend suspects more quickly.

The city has struggled with violent teen mobs for much of the year. On Friday, a 36-year-old man was jumped by a group of youths in the city’s historic section and suffered jaw injuries; another man was knocked unconscious. A 19-year-old man and three juveniles face charges.