It’s Science! Baby Daddy’s Semen Cures Morning Sickness

Attention married men: Remember the sex life you had with your wife back when you were dating and engaged but before you put down the deposit on the hall?  Well, now you can have that sex life back in two simple to follow steps:

1. Get her pregnant
2. Show her this article

According to a bona fide scientist at SUNY-Albany, swallowing the semen of the man who got you pregnant is a sure fire way to cure morning sickness. Yes,yes – part of this medically verified cure is that you must – MUST- swallow it.  Sorry.

There is, of course, no known cure for the snot-dripping whiny kid you’re going to have to put up with afterward.  Small price to pay, really.

Don’t quote me on this, but I’m pretty sure I read that giving in and having that one-time threesome with the hot stripper from Scruples in Bensalem cures menstrual cramps and the common cold.

Just kidding.  Everyone knows there are no hot strippers at Scruples in Bensalem.

Back to the actual, peer-reviewed genuine science.

[Actual scientist who was not paid by me Gordon] Gallup believes the reason a pregnant woman gets morning sickness is due to the unfamiliar semen in their body due to the pregnancy.

Gallup says in his findings that the woman’s body will initially reject the father’s semen as an infection and react to it by vomiting.

Gallup says the best cure for morning sickness is to ingest the father’s semen so her body can build up a tolerance to what’s already in her body.

Gallup agrees with the 2000 abstract from the National Center for Biotechnology Information, which showed that oral sex and swallowing sperm is correlated with a diminished occurrence of preeclampsia.

Sorry, honey.  You’re doing it wrong.