Doylestown’s Breast Feeding Crisis Averted

With all of it’s other problems solved, Doylestown’s town council has finally focused its attention on important matters and averted its looming public breast feeding crisis.

Chesticle Crusader Det Ansinn led the fight to make sure whip-’em-out Wednesday would extend to the other six days of the week, making the town safe for breast feeding mothers and erotic lactation fetishists around the clock.

I was temporarily excited by the prospect of full-on public milk duds.  Then I drove around Doylestown. In my unofficial estimation, about 60% of Doylestown’s female population is beyond the age where they’d be feeding these poor kiddies anything but powdered milk.  Another 37% wouldn’t exactly be squirting high nutritional value if you get my point. If you’re going to be feeding your kid Twinkies and Quarter Pounders, just put them in their mouths and let them enjoy the taste. So we’re looking at a huge victory for about 3% of Doylestown’s kids.

There should at least be an age and weight limitation.  Oh, and probably for the kids, too.

I am actively involved in locating the girl in the picture in hopes that Ansinn will move her to town and enlist her as the borough’s Airbag Ambassador.

What will Ansinn’s next crusade be? Well, I know a woman who was completely humiliated adjusting her tampon string at a bus stop this one time. DET ANSINN MUST ACT.

Who says government is too intrusive at every level?

The Doylestown Council voted 6-3 Monday night to make it illegal for anyone to discriminate against a breast-feeding mother in a public space or business.

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“The baby needs a right,” said Lyn McNair, a lactation consultant at Doylestown Hospital. “The mother needs a right to do what’s best for her baby.”

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If a store owner, manager or employee tries to stop her from breast-feeding, one mother said, “I will know store owners can’t or aren’t supposed to.”